Taking Time Outs

As I write this, my husband is out with the "boys" or I should say "men" while I'm at home watching the kids. Every now and then its good to get a "time out" from your spouse. On our so called time outs, either I go out on a "girls night out" or spend time alone relaxing without anyone. My husband would go out at night with his boys doing what boys do. Anyhow it feels good to be apart for a bit, I noticed that when we don't see each other for a couple of hours or even an entire day, I start to miss him and the longer he is away, the more I miss him. The same thing applies to him as well. When we do see each other after having our fun we tend to appreciate each other more. I'm guessing the same goes for everyone else? unless your so fed up with your spouse you just cant stand to be around him when your together but yet feel a sense of peace without him then you know you have marital problems right there and that's not good. Even in rough times the same is true when you and your spouse are apart. When me and husband had a super short(several days) separation in 2007, we missed each other and worked things out. Also it happened again earlier this year, took a short separation and realized things, missed one another, worked things out. So you see, taking these time outs from your spouse can help your relationship in a way where you appreciate them for being in your life and for doing all that they do for you and in return they feel the same way about you so then you feel good about yourself. What do you do on time outs? Do you feel a sense of closeness to your spouse after your time outs? Time Outs are important in our lives, is it in yours?

25 secrets to a happy marriage

I saw this on AOL & wanted to share with you all. This is the 25 secrets to having a happy marriage.

1. Compliment more. Criticize less.

2. No matter how busy you are, always make time for just the two of you.

3. Never assume.

4. Evenly divide the housework and spending money.

5. Every couple fights. Don't sweat that. What matters is how you fight.

6. Respect each other's privacy. No snooping!

7. Share.

8. Surprise your spouse occasionally.

9. Say "I love you." A lot.

10. Hold hands, hug and kiss every day.

11. Love isn't always a feeling. After you have been married for a number of years, love can often be a decision.

12. Say "I'm sorry." (And mean it.)

13. Don't keep secrets from each other.

14. Support one another. Be the first one to stand up and take the other's side.

15. Laugh often.

16. Don't compare your marriage to other marriages.

17. When you're fighting or angry, don't say these words: "never," "always" and any curse word.

18. Fight boredom by doing something fun together. For example, write a "bucket list" and then do those things.

19. Spice it up! Make love in different places and positions.

20. Talk to each other. And when it's your turn to listen, really listen.

21. Be committed to your marriage. Ban the word "divorce" from your vocabulary. And don't even think about an affair.

22. Create your own rituals and traditions.

23. Brag about your spouse.

24. Be kind.

25. As Aretha Franklin sang, always R-E-S-P-E-C-T each other.

(Sources: CNN, Redbook, Romancestuck.com, Halife.com)

Money: One of the top reasons for Divorces

Okay I figured I write about this because it's something I'm going through right now (arguing about money all the time) So I read up on articles and have found that one of the top reasons for divorces has to do with money after abuse and infidelity. Money is not really my fave subject, to be honest I hate dealing with money, it could be because I'm managing the money all the time and it has been a burden to me, constantly worrying if will make ends meets, arguing how my husband spends his money and how it affects the amount we have later etc. I do have to say that for us right now this is the number one reason why we fight. Our money situation was fine until recently my hubby had this urge to spend on himself recklessly. It was then I felt unhappy, miserable & constantly worrying. First off, I want to explain our financial situation so then maybe you will understand why I feel the way I do. I do not work, I stay at home and care for the kids. We only have one income ( my husbands). We do not have government/welfare help, just WIC (milk, eggs, cereal). We live on our own, pay rent, pay utilities, insurance, 2 loan payments & a number of other bills monthly. We do not rely on any family members or friends. We have no savings or emergency fund. We are basically living from one check to the next. I have tried to budget our money but it's been impossible for 2 reasons- 1) Hubby likes to spend money 2) after the bills are paid he has so little left that I am not able to save, either way. Basically we are total opposites when it comes to money. My main fear is that he will lose his job and we will be homeless. His idea is whatever happens, happens and we will be ok. I wish I could think like that but its hard when your managing the money and you have the power to not make it happen. Someone gave me the idea of having him manage the bills so he could see where I'm coming from, good idea the only problem is he doesn't want to bother. How do you and your spouse deal with money problems? Who does the managing of the money? Do you feel money is a factor when you have marital problems? My goal is to come up with a plan to be able to meet both of our needs as well as the family. It will be tough but I will try and stay positive especially since the economy got worse and it has taken a toll on us. Staying positive is one of the key factors as to how we tone things done when we are arguing. I will explain about it in my next post.