Date Your Mate

So yesterday we went to church and the message was about "Building healthy family relationships". So we learned that in today's world we always put our kids first, then our spouses and then God. When its suppose to be the other way around. God 1st, Spouse 2nd & Kids 3rd. The reason for this structure is so to create a healthy family relationships between one another. It apparently all falls into place. When you put God first in your life, he draws you & your spouse closer to another which creates a healthy relationship between parents then your kids benefit from them and your relationship between your children is also healthy. It makes perfect sense to me. We were told to "Date your mate" as a way for bonding with your spouse. We only have so much time in the world, why not make it useful? We found that when we schedule time to do things, they certainly get done, so why not schedule a date with your mate. I constantly would bug my husband on how he always go diving, surfing, out with his buddies and he also works full time so I barely get any one on one time with him. So after attending yesterday's service, he was like "Let's try that", "Lets schedule a date once a week weather if we are broke or not, we we will figure it out and spend time alone" "Yes!" I said that is exactly what I was trying to tell him these past years, yes years I say. He didn't catch on to what I was trying to tell him but now he realizes & now I'm looking forward to going on these dates! So now we need to figure out what kind of dates will be going on. There's the movies, dinner or lunch @ the restaurant, taking a stroll on the beach. We need to figure out some free things to do cause right now we are broke. Do you and your spouse go on date's? What types of things do you do? What do you & your spouse do on a date when you have no money? Is babysitting a problem & your not able to go on dates? At most times we are able to manage sitters for our kids but there's times when we don't have any so we don't bother having alone time. It is certainly important for you and your spouse to go on these "date's" to reconnect and to bring back the meaning of why you fell in love in the first place & why you married. One of the reasons why I was unhappy is because I felt no connection or bond between myself and my man & instead of looking for something new ( another person) I told my husband how I felt but he didn't quite catch on quickly, But with patience and prayers God delivered the message to him (through church) and he finally sees the light. Wow isn't that amazing? I think so. Please leave comments and give me some date night ideas. (Any person registered or not is ALLOWED to leave comments so talk to me!)

"I work & you dont" Agreeing to disagree

My husband is one to always bring up the words " I work and you don't"! when we are arguing about things. "Excuse me?" I tell him. "are you kidding me?" "Yea" he says "All I do is sit on my okole (butt) & watch TV." "Puhlease!" I don't like television! The only time you'll catch me watching TV is when he is watching shows in the evening or my fave show Jon & Kate plus 8 is on which is rare. He tells me how easy it is stay home and watch kids and do nothing. He is getting the picture all wrong. Stay @ home mama's do more then men think! We feed our kids breakfast, clean up their mess, do the dishes, clean the house, read them books, play play dough, color, draw, outside play, water play, play toys, do puzzles, build towers out of blocks, feed them lunch, clean up their mess, do the dishes, put them down for a nap only to find that one child wont go to sleep so read them stories and by the time the child is down the others are awake so your busy setting up snacks for them while your starting to cook dinner at the same time. I mean you barely have anytime to breathe! So I tell him "I do more then you think" he is like "No I work harder, you don't work" oh well Even though I totally disagree with him & am very upset that he feel's that way because child rearing is work, I just let him have his cake and eat it too. There were many times when we would argue about something because we disagree on what the other person is saying, sometimes its stupid and foolish non-sense things, oh well now we AGREE to disagree and that's just it. No more trying to win the argument, its what we both feel so therefore we must respect each others opinion. Because of this we actually argue way less then ever. Hallelujah there's less tension in the household!

What does LOVE mean to you?

According to the Bible, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV) We all think that love is like the feeling when we first meet our spouses with butterflies in our stomach etc. when it is just infatuation and an attraction. To love someone is a choice. Its what we choose to do. When people get divorces they choose to not love eachother. To keep a marriage strong from my point of view, Both spouses are to love one another, respect & accept eachother for who they are. An example is me and my husband rarely have anything in common when it comes to hobbies. But we do learn to embrace and try out eachothers hobbies just once, if we hate it, oh well life goes on, we can continue doing what we enjoying doing seperately. We respect eachother by letting one another do what we love and not argue about it, that shows love! Another example of loving one another is by doing, showing & saying you love them. There are 5 different love languages which we will go into later. For me, I love my husband because I want to. My husband loves me because he wants to love me. All that mushy gushy feeling stage is long gone, and if we wanted to, we would have moved on with our lives separately trying to get that so called once mushy feelin from someone else but we choose not to because we choose to love one another! Tell me How do you define LOVE?

The Purpose of my BLOG

I created this blog because I feel strongly to keeping marriages strong and lasting a lifetime. My husband and I have had our fair share of ups & down. There were divorce threats, blaming, unhappiness, stress, tension etc. We have overcome all of those obstacle through GOD. The bible has so much to say about marriage and when you follow them, you will be wiser, happier and more fufilled. Edited:9/o8/09- I decided to include other topics dealing with life in general not just with marriages, however I will always try to include ideas on that topic.